Chronicle Of The Preschool Freshman's First Day

I'm now all of 8 months and 3 weeks old and it took them long enough to finally send me to school to get some real education!

Let me make sure I've got everything I need for school in my backpack: bottles of milk - check; diapers and wipes - check; extra clothes - check; socks and shoes... Hey! Where are my socks and shoes? Oh. They're on my feet. Haha! Ok, I'm set. Let's go!

The school doesn't look bad at all! It's colourful, clean, bright, with lots of toys and pictures. But most of the kids here can't even move about on their own! What fun is that? And when I try to give them some of my highly sought after friendly hugs, they cry like a bunch of girls! No, wait. I think they are a bunch of girls. But I must say it's quite fun to see how far I can go with them before they start screaming their heads off!

This Creative Curriculum which makes us learn through play is pretty hard work! I have to push buttons to play music, climb over obstacles to get to toys, roll balls around and all. I get thirsty from all that sweating. Mummy, I'm ready for a drink now. Mummy! Mummy? Where did she go? You mean mums don't stick around in school with us? WAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

These ladies here take care of me like Mummy does, but you're telling me now I can only drink milk from a bottle? I get only one meal of solid food? What about my junk food? And why can't I be cuddled more often? And why are you holding me down like that? Diaper change? I don't want a diaper change! I don't want to be held down and get my butt exposed! Let me get up! Let me go!

So, this is a typical school day. We get here in the morning, Mummy kisses me and disappears. I play, I make kids cry, I scream for Mummy, I spit out bottles of fake milk they try to feed me, I sleep, I play again, I fight off women trying to strip me, I play more, I look at the door and cry for Mummy, I eat, I play some more.

Preschool - Paradise or Prison? I haven't quite figured it out yet...